Life in isolation - suggestions for managing husbands
Current location for the foreseeable future: Norsand Boatyard, Whangarei, New Zealand
Things have got serious in New Zealand today so I need to cover that first; scroll down if you need immediate ideas for managing your husband in isolation. Yesterday, a petition signed by over 40,000 NZ healthcare professionals was handed to the government, asking for them to move immediately to stage 4 lockdown. Today, after a long cabinet meeting, Jacinda Ardern spoke with great eloquence, leadership and passion, announcing stage 3 stay-at-home with immediate effect, escalating to stage 4 lockdown in 48 hours. There have been two cases of community transmission here so far, and New Zealand is desperate not to go the same way as so many countries in Europe. Everyone we have spoken to has been in full support of the escalation, and thinks the bold decision has been taken not a moment too soon. We hope and pray that it can change the trajectory of disease that has become familiar elsewhere, and prevent a massive increase in cases and a swamped health service.
Eloise and George were very sad about the abrupt end to their NZ school experience. They have loved the past two weeks being real "kiwi kids" - learning Maori songs, making new friends, and discovering the freedom not only of there being no uniform, but also no requirement for shoes! For everyone trying to get their head around how to manage home school, our main message from the good ship Victoria is don't worry too much, and don't let it create conflict or additional stress for you. There is more than enough to worry about at the moment. Eloise and George both make a ridiculous fuss about sitting down and writing in the "home" setting, and Jack wrecks their concentration further. We have managed a maximum of 30 minutes each of maths and writing per school day, and we have had a LOT of non-school days.. Despite this, the kids have both absolutely aced their re-introduction to the classroom - no problem at all with level of ability or knowledge. So if "schoolwork" is a battle, just do a little bit and then play games, read books, chat, watch documentaries, read instructions, build things, let them put on shows, set up shops, treasure hunts, write powerpoint presentations etc. We absolutely love the iphone game "HeadsUp" too. Happiness (or at least the children not trying to kill each other) and survival is the main aim. If a teacher asked to "see" what we had "learned" over the past year, we would struggle to show them many workbooks at all. We do have the odd one which has been a huge success, but we are not exactly going through them methodically.. But talk to the kids, and what they have learned is all in their little heads.
School closure is not a particularly big deal for us, as that was our modus operandi until two weeks ago. The closing of all non-essential businesses, however, has a rather bigger consequence. We are currently out of the water in the boatyard, and as it turns out, here we will be for the foreseeable future. It's a little inconvenient, as there are some things you can't do on a boat when it's out of the water, quite apart from the obvious one of not being able to go anywhere on it. Firstly, we can't run the engine. This means no hot water, and no cold fridge. Fortunately, we have a kettle and plenty of gas, as well as a tiny 12V fridge, although Angus is not very happy as I keep taking out beer out to make space for food! Secondly, we can't use our heads (loos). It is normal boatyard practice to wee in bottles / jugs / buckets overnight (and during the day if you can't be bothered to get off the boat). Periodically, there is the strange sight of people carrying their yellow waste across the boatyard to empty in the "dump station". For more serious calls of nature, we would, in normal times, go
to the "shore loo", but as this is shared, we are on dodgy ground for self-isolation. So today we made a rapid and glamorous new purchase - a porta-potti (camping loo). The kids read all the instructions and set it up, on the floor in the aft heads, so we now have two loos in a room which is barely big enough for one.. Thirdly, any water we run out of the boat's basins pours onto the concrete below, so we have a pipe from the galley sink outlet to a large container below. When this gets full of washing up water (or washing hands water which is more voluminous at present) we have to lug it across to the waste water station. We were only really planning to live like this for a couple of weeks, but there we go.
Anyway, that's our update for now. The main thing is we are all healthy and the internet works well here, so we can be in contact with everyone. These are terrible times, but so many wonderful acts of community and kindness are shining through,
Stay safe, as we say these days,
Laura, Angus, Eloise, George and Jack Xxx
Life in isolation - suggestions for managing husbands
I heard from a friend that when China came out of lockdown, 88 couples immediately filed for divorce. My only thought was that I was surprised the numbers weren't higher. Most couples admit considering separation at some point mid-ocean on long passages, but usually by the time they arrive at their destination they are so relieved and elated, that it’s easier just to forget about it. If anyone has read “66 Days Adrift”, you will know that for that particular married couple it didn't end well; having survived drifting around in their liferaft for all those days, being buffeted by sharks and watching several ships pass them on the horizon, they went their separate ways almost as soon as they were rescued. For many of us, it is not a natural situation to spend all day everyday with our other halves, whether in a liferaft or a house. Add into that enormous stress and uncertainty, possibly some children, trying to work remotely, and take away any normal fun activities, and it gets a whole lot more complicated. Acknowledge these challenges from the outset and keep talking to each other. A lot of forgive and forget, take a deep breath, move on, try harder next time, and tomorrow is another day!
 |
| #stayhomesavelives - a rainy day in the boatyard |
Things have got serious in New Zealand today so I need to cover that first; scroll down if you need immediate ideas for managing your husband in isolation. Yesterday, a petition signed by over 40,000 NZ healthcare professionals was handed to the government, asking for them to move immediately to stage 4 lockdown. Today, after a long cabinet meeting, Jacinda Ardern spoke with great eloquence, leadership and passion, announcing stage 3 stay-at-home with immediate effect, escalating to stage 4 lockdown in 48 hours. There have been two cases of community transmission here so far, and New Zealand is desperate not to go the same way as so many countries in Europe. Everyone we have spoken to has been in full support of the escalation, and thinks the bold decision has been taken not a moment too soon. We hope and pray that it can change the trajectory of disease that has become familiar elsewhere, and prevent a massive increase in cases and a swamped health service.
 |
| Look how carefree we used to be - how fast things have changed. Will we be like this again? I hope so. |
Eloise and George were very sad about the abrupt end to their NZ school experience. They have loved the past two weeks being real "kiwi kids" - learning Maori songs, making new friends, and discovering the freedom not only of there being no uniform, but also no requirement for shoes! For everyone trying to get their head around how to manage home school, our main message from the good ship Victoria is don't worry too much, and don't let it create conflict or additional stress for you. There is more than enough to worry about at the moment. Eloise and George both make a ridiculous fuss about sitting down and writing in the "home" setting, and Jack wrecks their concentration further. We have managed a maximum of 30 minutes each of maths and writing per school day, and we have had a LOT of non-school days.. Despite this, the kids have both absolutely aced their re-introduction to the classroom - no problem at all with level of ability or knowledge. So if "schoolwork" is a battle, just do a little bit and then play games, read books, chat, watch documentaries, read instructions, build things, let them put on shows, set up shops, treasure hunts, write powerpoint presentations etc. We absolutely love the iphone game "HeadsUp" too. Happiness (or at least the children not trying to kill each other) and survival is the main aim. If a teacher asked to "see" what we had "learned" over the past year, we would struggle to show them many workbooks at all. We do have the odd one which has been a huge success, but we are not exactly going through them methodically.. But talk to the kids, and what they have learned is all in their little heads.
 |
| Jack at the wonderful "Playcentre" last week - he just loved all the toys there! |
School closure is not a particularly big deal for us, as that was our modus operandi until two weeks ago. The closing of all non-essential businesses, however, has a rather bigger consequence. We are currently out of the water in the boatyard, and as it turns out, here we will be for the foreseeable future. It's a little inconvenient, as there are some things you can't do on a boat when it's out of the water, quite apart from the obvious one of not being able to go anywhere on it. Firstly, we can't run the engine. This means no hot water, and no cold fridge. Fortunately, we have a kettle and plenty of gas, as well as a tiny 12V fridge, although Angus is not very happy as I keep taking out beer out to make space for food! Secondly, we can't use our heads (loos). It is normal boatyard practice to wee in bottles / jugs / buckets overnight (and during the day if you can't be bothered to get off the boat). Periodically, there is the strange sight of people carrying their yellow waste across the boatyard to empty in the "dump station". For more serious calls of nature, we would, in normal times, go
to the "shore loo", but as this is shared, we are on dodgy ground for self-isolation. So today we made a rapid and glamorous new purchase - a porta-potti (camping loo). The kids read all the instructions and set it up, on the floor in the aft heads, so we now have two loos in a room which is barely big enough for one.. Thirdly, any water we run out of the boat's basins pours onto the concrete below, so we have a pipe from the galley sink outlet to a large container below. When this gets full of washing up water (or washing hands water which is more voluminous at present) we have to lug it across to the waste water station. We were only really planning to live like this for a couple of weeks, but there we go.
 |
| It's luxury all the way on Victoria at the moment! |
Anyway, that's our update for now. The main thing is we are all healthy and the internet works well here, so we can be in contact with everyone. These are terrible times, but so many wonderful acts of community and kindness are shining through,
Stay safe, as we say these days,
Laura, Angus, Eloise, George and Jack Xxx
Life in isolation - suggestions for managing husbands
I heard from a friend that when China came out of lockdown, 88 couples immediately filed for divorce. My only thought was that I was surprised the numbers weren't higher. Most couples admit considering separation at some point mid-ocean on long passages, but usually by the time they arrive at their destination they are so relieved and elated, that it’s easier just to forget about it. If anyone has read “66 Days Adrift”, you will know that for that particular married couple it didn't end well; having survived drifting around in their liferaft for all those days, being buffeted by sharks and watching several ships pass them on the horizon, they went their separate ways almost as soon as they were rescued. For many of us, it is not a natural situation to spend all day everyday with our other halves, whether in a liferaft or a house. Add into that enormous stress and uncertainty, possibly some children, trying to work remotely, and take away any normal fun activities, and it gets a whole lot more complicated. Acknowledge these challenges from the outset and keep talking to each other. A lot of forgive and forget, take a deep breath, move on, try harder next time, and tomorrow is another day!
 |
| When we were carefree - Angus' birthday morning a few weeks ago |
We met a British couple Vanuatu who had been
cruising together on their boat for several years.
After a couple of gins, the lady said to me, “Many couples don’t manage
together on a boat for very long. The
wives usually demand to get off after a while, claiming they can’t live without
their dishwasher, or washing machine or whatever, but the truth is really they
just can’t stand living on a boat with their husband!” I’m sure Angus would have plenty of things to say
about living with me, but as I’m the one writing this, you will only get the
female point of view on this occasion. Let's just say that a man needs a reason to get away from his wife and children from time to time.. On Victoria, the reason is the engine.
A boat engine is a very important and manly thing. It needs a lot of close attention and regular checking - at least twice a day, sometimes more in rough weather. It is quite awkward to access, and when a man is checking it, he must not be disturbed, especially not by children. His head and most of his body may disappear into the engine compartment while he is doing this job. Sometimes the engine can be noisy, so the man will wear ear defenders, which in turn makes absolutely certain that he cannot be disturbed. Often, something needs a tweak or a tighten, requiring tools, more time, and a lot of sighing and grunting. The engine compartment is in the main part of the boat, so the children will often walk past and bump their father in the back, which is annoying, so if the he really wants complete peace and quiet, he has to go on deck to the front of the boat, where he can climb right into the anchor locker to do some checking there instead. Have a think where your “engine” and your "anchor locker" are – if you have a mower and a garden shed, then you may be close to the answer. Be sure to allow your husband time for engine checks if he is to stay sane. Also, for the ladies, think where you can go to escape everyone, when you can't actually go anywhere. I usually try and hide in our bunk with my kindle, but usually after a couple of minutes my absence is noticed. “Mummy, which Ninja are you?” aqueaks a little voice, and then a blonde mop of urchin-like hair with Jack underneath hops up beside me, and the brief moment is over.
Anyway, luckily for us, we can keep ourselves to ourselves very effectively here in the boatyard, without needing to remain on the boat at all times. There are lots of grassy banks to run up and down, and there is one patch of grass which is just big enough to kick a ball or run some relay races. There are no other children here to overlap with, which is great. The other adults are all quite happily working on their own boats so there is no need to come within two metres of them. The next four weeks should be fine, despite our basic standard of living on the plumbing front. In the meantime, let us hope and pray that Covid-19 begins to respond to the measures put in place.
A boat engine is a very important and manly thing. It needs a lot of close attention and regular checking - at least twice a day, sometimes more in rough weather. It is quite awkward to access, and when a man is checking it, he must not be disturbed, especially not by children. His head and most of his body may disappear into the engine compartment while he is doing this job. Sometimes the engine can be noisy, so the man will wear ear defenders, which in turn makes absolutely certain that he cannot be disturbed. Often, something needs a tweak or a tighten, requiring tools, more time, and a lot of sighing and grunting. The engine compartment is in the main part of the boat, so the children will often walk past and bump their father in the back, which is annoying, so if the he really wants complete peace and quiet, he has to go on deck to the front of the boat, where he can climb right into the anchor locker to do some checking there instead. Have a think where your “engine” and your "anchor locker" are – if you have a mower and a garden shed, then you may be close to the answer. Be sure to allow your husband time for engine checks if he is to stay sane. Also, for the ladies, think where you can go to escape everyone, when you can't actually go anywhere. I usually try and hide in our bunk with my kindle, but usually after a couple of minutes my absence is noticed. “Mummy, which Ninja are you?” aqueaks a little voice, and then a blonde mop of urchin-like hair with Jack underneath hops up beside me, and the brief moment is over.
Anyway, luckily for us, we can keep ourselves to ourselves very effectively here in the boatyard, without needing to remain on the boat at all times. There are lots of grassy banks to run up and down, and there is one patch of grass which is just big enough to kick a ball or run some relay races. There are no other children here to overlap with, which is great. The other adults are all quite happily working on their own boats so there is no need to come within two metres of them. The next four weeks should be fine, despite our basic standard of living on the plumbing front. In the meantime, let us hope and pray that Covid-19 begins to respond to the measures put in place.
As always I enjoyed reading your posts. Stay safe and God Bless x
ReplyDeletegreat writing Lors & tips!! Glad to hear you are all safe & well in these strange times. loads of love to you all xxxx
ReplyDeleteI've seen Angus drink cold and warm beer, both at the same time; one in each hand, so I can't see 'not' being in the fridge holding him back, plus I've worked with Angus and his fat thumbs - so my heartfelt love goes out to all of you who get to watch him mess with a bilge pump...he also taught me a few swear words on our climbing trips, so make sure the kids are also wearing the ear defenders.....LOL
ReplyDeleteBobbie Jo and Kids all shout out big hi, Isabelle {daughter} says' 'who the heck is Angus' and I've got to remind her that he was the best man (couldn't find anyone else) at our wedding, and she goes 'oh! that wanker' (not knowing that that is one of Angus's favourite words, and not to be used when visiting England).
Keep safe out there!
Michael
cooling tower water treatment companies, When your website or blog goes live for the first time, it is exciting. That is until you realize no one but you and your.
ReplyDelete